As far as your actual post goes…
I think it is hardest for us to see our own growth. Just like when we hit those growing spurts as kids and don’t really see it. We will see aunts, uncles, grandparents, or even just friends of our parents and they say things like “wow, you’re growing like a weed!” or “look at how tall you’re getting!” As kids we may turn red at the attention and shy away or we may throw our shoulders back and be proud that they noticed, but all we know is we’ve had to buy three new pairs of jeans in the last year because the old ones are too short. It happens at a pace we just adapt to – albeit sometimes awkwardly.
I know there have been plenty of times in my life when I haven’t felt like I’m growing at all – most times I feel like I’m going backward at a faster pace than I’m going forward, but then someone will mention how much they’ve seen me grown, and I don’t know what to say, because I haven’t seen the growth. Growing spiritually, mentally and emotionally isn’t like growing physically; when we grow physically we have the proof of having to purchase new clothes, but we don’t have such tangible proof of what is going on on the inside.

All that to say: Don’t give up. God knows what He’s doing and sometimes His plan includes us feeling out of place or awkward or abnormal – I’ve been there a lot recently.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9